It's that time of year again..

Not going to delve into more of Jesse's lyrics, sorry to disappoint, y'all!

Today I'm listening to Christmas music and doing some online Christmas shopping, I have some big plans for family members. I don't really have any money, so I'm probably going to be embroidering some gifts for friends.

I usually love Christmas time and decorate my home accordingly and wear Christmas sweaters and drink coco and watch Home Alone with friends.. none of that has happened this year and it's kinda sad. I know it's only Dec. 6, but I'm coming home on the 18th and I want to have already experienced some Christmas stuff before I arrive. I'm just greedy when it comes to Christmas, I want to be overloaded with Christmas spirit. I guess I never really realized that before.. but it's very apparent now that I don't have anything Chritmasy around me.

We're decorating our work spaces tomorrow (with decorations provided by work: garlands, lights, stockings, etc.) It's going to be really fun. Actually, I've always had a good time at work, but last week was reallllly fun. I've been having a lot of fun in general lately and look forward to going to work. The thought of not going into the office hasn't crossed my mind in months.. that's nuts! I'm just really glad to be there, and I still have the possibility of getting a promotion.. so send good vibes my way! I'm trying to get Madison set up with the same job I started out with, hopefully she'll get hired on.

Although I'm having a blast at work, I'm feeling pretty damper once I get home. I guess not "damper" but I just am not motivated to do anything. At all. I don't know if it's because I know I'll be moving or if I'm just super tired.. I dunno. But I've been a bit more motivated this weekend, so hopefully that will continue. I want to feel inspired again to make all of the things that I've been brainstorming on for months. I need to start putting some ideas to good use. BUH!

Welp, I'm going to write some letters now.. hey hey, that's productive!

Love you all, I hope all of your wildest dreams are coming true. Truly, I hope each of you are happy. xoxo.

me today:

Woke up early and hung with Cecilia / started sorting my clothes. I woke up to a lusciously long phone call with Monét yesterday, so I also reminisced about our conversation this morning.

Then I continued to sort clothing (for give away).. then went to Taste of India with my friend Marisa. Yum yum in the tum tum. Gimme good Indian food anyday, yes please.

Now I'm back, and will once again commence the sorting. I'm pretty proud of how many belongings I've already given away.. It's freeing to have fewer belongings - mentally especially because I don't even feel THAT attached to those that I'm keeping. I'm realizing that many of the things I have can be replaced with other thrift store gems. This helps me also feel free enough to move away from Seattle at my leisure. Especially now that I have a car- I can just sell my stuff, get Cecilia suited up and load up the car to move in a blink of an eye. Although, I will need to finish up this message board project I've just been given at work before I go anywhere..

Speaking of.. I've also dropped in on those new message boards that I'm moderating twice today.. and I'll be dropping in to post again this evening. It's okay though because I'm getting paid OT. Plus, these kids are funny and seriously make me laugh. It's pretty fun to be a part of a younger community now, even though the users are now younger than I am - instead of 30 years older like I'm used to. I've already had the privilege of discussing topics like pizza and anime; I'm pumped about the topics to come.

Anywho, I'm doing well y'all. I've been hanging with Seattle friends and feeling happy, while trying to ignore the dismal gray around me. I miss everyone and would seriously like to cuddle.. but other than that, I'm just peachy.

Ceci

Ok, so, my last post was when I was realizing how sad it was that Monét was leaving. I feel a lot better now, especially since I know that we'll still be close, no matter the distance between us. I'm also really glad that she'll be working on being happier down in Tejas, it really is for the best.

Cecilia has been extra needy though since her two besties left. Seriously, I think she's taking this harder than she took being separated from Penelope. Actually, I can't tell if she's super pumped to be alone now and is simply milking us for attention, or if the meows indicate her search for Benny and/or Penny. Either way, she's adorable and kinda sad. She's been cuddling with me every night which is a new thing because I used to only get such a treat maybe once a week. My precious little angel.



We're posting our ad for a new roommate on Craigslist this week. Any advice on how to sound normal and actually get a kick ass roomie? Or how to sound crazy and avoid all of the prissy peeps? I need a balance of the two.

heart ache.

I'm listening to Debussy's Clair de Lune and being really sad about Monét leaving. Seriously. I'm going to be pretty much alone up here wishing that I had a bestie to spend my days with. The tears are streaming and I know it's just going to get worse once she actually leaves, but at least I will have Casey close by to help dry my eyes.



I understand that we all have to do what is best for each of us and right now we just aren't aligned in that financially. I just feel lonely already and I know that feeling will deepen once my other half leaves. Who's going to call me on my bullshit, be a crazy cat lady with me or make me giggle all the time? She's completely and totally irreplaceable.

I do feel happy most of the time, but the pondering about what ifs and what could bes have been overwhelming my thoughts lately. I suppose that I've convinced myself that people up here aren't the same as me and won't be able to relate to me - regardless of the validity of that. I think I'm just being a girl and letting my emotions take over, which honestly, is kind of nice right now because keeping them bottled up wasn't doing much for me either.

Just like Monét said, I guess this is what breaking up with someone you love feels like. Well, the knife is jabbed in there pretty deep, now comes the painstaking task of pulling it out and recovering.

My Family.

Listening to those Jay Reatarded jams and hanging with my ladies. We switched rooms last night so the above picture now depicts my room, not Monét's. Now off to Hemp Fest to get some funnel cake.

I'm pretty stoked to see everyone this weekend. It's going to be really fun/cool/awesome/precious. Hugs Hugs Hugs Hugs! And kisses too!

ANNND

This too.

you know what

I'm really going to be missing this girl in a few weeks. She's been my wife for years now and I don't know what I'll do without her.



Also, we bought some succulents at Ikea today, mine reminds me of Star Wars.